I posted only one blog for the past 4 months.

I never thought about why I don’t post more despite that I have overwhelming and flowing thoughts every day and I have many half written blogs and scattering thoughts saved on Google Docs that have not been posted.

Being the logic-seeking person I am, I dived into the reason behind my tardiness given that I am quite a task-oriented and overachieving person.

My conclusion came to two main reasons.

First is my personal belief: I don’t feel I am qualified to share these thoughts.

My blog focuses on being a parent, however, deep inside, I feel that I haven’t experienced enough and I have not achieved enough success as a parent. There, it’s my view that I am flawed, and I don’t deserve to share.

Second is that I am still quite new to this blogging thing.

I don’t know what’s appropriate and what’s not. I assume that blogs need to have some substance and need to share some wisdom. So I set my standards high, and I have not reached that level often enough, hence the few posted blogs.

I guess to solve this issue, I need to do two things:

1. Lower my standards and
2. Change my perspectives.

I never thought I would say this but I think I have been a perfectionist in certain areas, especially with things to do with writing, school and work—things that give me pride. I usually view myself as someone easy-going and low maintenance; however, recently, I found that I have been critically hard on myself to do things perfectly without errors. For my line of work, that’s important. But for many other things, maybe I need to be more lenient with myself.

I remind myself that most of my most admired writers, Brene Brown or Michelle Obama, are particularly genuine, down to earth, and imperfect. I remind myself that this is the very trait that I love so much and people can connect with them and sympathize with them.

No one is perfect; sometimes they get things wrong.

I think back about this blog, I want it to be a safe space, first for the selfish want of me to express myself and tell my stories and second for those that might share the same feelings.

I think moms, especially first generation immigrant moms like me, carry a great deal of self-expectations to settle in a new country and to give the best future for our kids.

We work hard, we try harder, we act strong and take on more responsibilities. Sometimes it can be seen as being competitive and overburdening. Then, that mentality seeps into other parts of our lives, and into our words, our perceptions of the world, and our actions. Honestly, I wish I had someone show me how to live a “normal” life but I somewhat figured it out myself.

I want to say that I get you if you are in similar situations.

It might be best to let ourselves breathe a little, take a rest, and allow ourselves to relax and do “nothing”. Also, it’s okay to create something that might not meet our expectations—as long as it’s whole.

For a blog, it’s okay to just share thoughts, no need to do research and find evidence to back up our thoughts. Of course as writers and bloggers, we have a responsibility to write the truths and do no harm. But being able to share and reflect inner thoughts as an immigrant mom is more than what I can ask for.

If you are having the same issues, I invite you on this journey to be more gentle with yourself and see where that takes you. It might take you to a tribe of people who are struggling with the same issues and sharing experiences to support each other.

With that, I close this blog here with a quote from Brene Brown:

You are imperfect, you are wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging. – Brene Brown