I am all smitten with being a mom. I love and adore my daughter and motherhood because I have learned so much from raising my daughter and she has given infinite love and attention. This bond is magical and I am grateful for such a strong and cute bond my daughter and I have for each other.
It is quite hard to imagine that before I became a mom, motherhood was so foreign to me to a point that I got offended if someone asked me whether I had a child.
However, the moment I gave birth to her, I instantly felt that I had always been a mother. I think it might be the motherly instinct and bond that magically connects us.
Being a mom, to me, is an honourable title but also one role with great responsibilities. I am now in charge of raising and taking care of one little child who belongs to the next generation of humans that will create the future of the human kind.
Undeniably, being a mom is tough. That is why, too often, moms are called super moms who seemingly handle everything, all at once. Also quite often, moms are called “career moms” if they are successful career women.
While I do like these two terms and their empowering messages, I have gained a strong preference for the term “power mom” over “super mom” and “career mom” over the last little while and so, I called my blog “Power Moms”. And here’s why.
A power mom means that a mom is “powerful” but also a lot more than what a “super mom” or a “career mom” conveys.
A “career mom” focuses on a woman taking on the two roles as a mother and a career woman. Meanwhile, a “super mom” refers to a mom who can do it all, taking on everything and anything seamlessly and efficiently.
But there is more to being a mom than their career and a term implying that a mom can take care of everything can be overwhelming and creating a wrong sense of validation. I would not want to be called a “super mom” and have to stretch every single fabric of my energy, physically and mentally, to maintain that title.
Therefore, I believe that the term “power mom” is better suited for moms. It empowers moms to accept the restraints and limitations of being a human mother while acknowledging the different facets of life besides motherhood and careers to find the proper balance.
Furthermore, the term “power mom” provides a sense of control, self-empowerment, and internal validation that a mom needs.
A “power mom” is one that can balance their motherhood (family), career (work), health, and friends with the help of others and effective strategies.
Family, Work, Health and Friends are the core elements of the Four Burners theory. These four elements visualize a person’s four core Burners of their life. There are other versions of Burners. One that I particularly like is the Five Prongs of Well-Being which are: Relationships, Health, Career, Finance, and Community.
The key learning about the Four Burners theory or any of the other similar theories is that:
A person must make trade-offs to decide which Burners they keep on.
A person cannot keep all four Burners alight without trade-offs.
For a mom, balancing those Burners is even tougher. Too often, moms have to sacrifice their health, their friendships, or careers.
James Clear, the author of the bestselling book “Atomic Habits”, suggests three options to deal with the Four Burners dilemma and trade-offs: 1) Outsource Burners, 2) Embrace Constraints, and 3) The Seasons of Life.
For me, the Four Burners balancing issue can be solved by a mixture of those three options that James Clear suggests, but also by employing strategies and tactics to make motherhood much more enjoyable.
Here are the strategies in point forms:
(Yes, here they are, not behind pay walls or long ads)
- Minimalism: To Focus on the 20% that Is The Most Important and To Do More With Less
- Habits: To Achieve One Percent Improvement Per Day
- Mindfulness: To Be Present and Find Enjoyment in Little Things in Life
- Write: To Find Clarity
“That’s lame”, you might say, “I know all of these. I tried them all, they did not work”.
While I might not be able to prove to you that these work in your circumstances, I aim to show to you how these strategies work for me and many others. Furthermore, it might work for you if you fully understand what these strategies do, how they work. I aim to show you if you put in the work and follow the process, the results are guaranteed.
How has it worked for me, you asked?
Before I embarked on this journey of change with these strategies, I was a completely different person. I often felt:
- Miserable
- A lack of self-worth
- The need for external validation
- Overwhelmed and drown in circular thoughts without clarity
- Stuck
- Envious with others on how at peace and comfortable they were in social settings and on how successful they were in their career and life
- Drowned in clutters to the point each move was traumatizing
- Exhausted and non-inspired
- Plateaued.
Now, after a series of small change and consistent work on myself and my skills, my journey has been long but fruitful. Now, I:
- Feel free
- Feel accomplished career-wise with my pursuit of law school and multiple voluntary community work
- Feel accomplished mother-wise by raising my daughter through the toughest time of her life (the first 5 years!) with the help of my husband and family
- Feel humbled while learning to build a lasting relationship with my husband
- Feel humbled and at peace after facing my fears, trauma, weaknesses, and difficult feelings
- Feel at peace when I moved from external validation seeking to more internal validation of my self-worth
- Feel accomplished personally with starting this blog
- Feel accomplished personally by teaching myself to play the keyboard
- Feel much more present and at peace to enjoy the moments
- Feel a sense of clarity through writing as a therapy and for school and work purposes.
After a lot of self-work with these strategies, I finally understand the Buddhist saying “happiness is within you”. Empowered by this experience and learning, I want more moms to feel the same and to learn to become “power moms”.
It is my belief that we all deserve such a life with meaning, peace, and happiness as “power moms”.
You can do it, too. You can take control of your journey as a mother and find meaning in life as a woman by being a minimalist, building healthy habits, meditating, and writing.
See you in my other blogs to discuss these strategies and how you can plan and execute them. <3
Much love!
TOP 4 STRATEGIES IN THIS BLOG:
- Minimalism: To Focus on the 20% that Is The Most Important and To Do More With Less
- Habits: To Achieve One Percent Improvement Per Day
- Mindfulness: To Be Present and Find Enjoyment in Little Things in Life
- Write: To Find Clarity
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